Congrats to the Class of 2009!
The OHT Blog is taking a break for the summer. In the meantime, watch these very funny student speeches from Class Day, over and over, as many times as it takes to get to September:
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Summer Time!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Where Are They Now: Nate Dern '07
Nate Dern '07, of Beauty and the Geek and "Ballad of the Beard" fame, stars as "the guy who started the fire" in this Onion News Network video from earlier this week (click link for a non-cropped version):
Friday, May 15, 2009
UHS Director: "No more stigma attached to the Slut Virus"
Oh boy. It seems Harvard has declared this to be a campus-wide "Piss Students Off Because You Act Like You Want Them to Die" week.
First the shuttles, and now here is your University Health Services director managing to get through a whole Crimson article without calling any dudes pregnant, but that's only because he says something even dumber:
He noted to The Crimson that HIV/AIDS is "becoming less of a stigma, so there’s really less and less of a reason for being tested anonymously."Haha do you see what he did there? He said there was no more stigma attached to HIV, and then attached a stigma to it, and then used both of those as reasons to cancel anonymous testing? That is why it is funny. DO YOU GET IT?!?!?!
[snip]
In an e-mail that was forwarded to various campus lists last night, Ellison wrote that when Rosenthal was asked by one of her students "what kind of person" should get HIV/AIDS testing, the UHS director responded, "promiscuous" people.
(and btw he says that "promiscuous" comment was in a "private" conversation, which totally would have made it ok except he should have known that all the kids these days have "audio-recording Twitter bloggy thing" machines embedded directly into their rib cages, so he should just keep his mouth shut)
Well now, as students are wont to do during exams period (pun coming! get ready!), they are staging a "test-in" on Wednesday, where they will all go get tested anonymously, together, as a protest slash last chance before it ends up on every political vetting record for the rest of their lives. Hooray!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A guide to the Harvard deans who are trying to get you mugged
(See Tyler's post for some more fun with this photo)
(click to enlarge)
Here are your lovable Harvard administrators cheating by walking through Cambridge Common with seven friends in broad daylight, in order to avoid the awkward photo of them all taking the shuttle to the Quad like 10 minutes after they canceled all shuttles, forever, except the ones to Longwood.
But who are these people you've never met before who want you to walk back in the middle of the night and thus get hit over the head with blunt objects and whatnot? Here's a handy guide to the deans labeled in the picture, to help you connect faces with your blind rage:
1. Judith Kidd, Associate Dean of Student Life and Activities: She's smiling and leading the pack because she won't be around next year to receive all the complaints and ransom notes.
2. Jay Harris, Dean of Undergraduate Education: Ignoring for a moment the fact that he's the Cabot House Master so there's no way he should be on board with this, I'm not sure what he's thinking walking out front in such an exposed position like that. I mean, if I were choosing whom to rob first, I would totally go for the most Jewish-looking person in the world. No offense meant, it's just a matter of maximizing efficiency.
3. Evelynn Hammonds, Dean of Harvard College: The Dick Cheney to Drew Faust's George W. Bush, Hammonds joked at a meeting with students that "I wore orange so if there were tomatoes they wouldn’t show," which means not only does she want us all to be killed, she also doesn't know what color a damn tomato is.
4. Paul McLoughlin, Assistant Dean of Harvard College: Justified the cuts to late-night service by noting that "shuttle service ended at 12:30 a.m. every night before 2004." Of course, there was a certain Assistant Dean (what was his name?) who back in 2003-'04 "instituted the Harvard University Campus Escort Program (HUCEP) in response to growing concern over pedestrian safety following a rash of on-campus assaults" and said that "HUCEP is one of the things I’m most proud of." Man, I miss that guy. He really cared about students' safety.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
"It's Definitely the Harvard of Scholastics"
"Wouldn't that be Harvard?"
Hilarious segment from last night's Daily Show:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c | |||
| Arizona State Snubs Obama | ||||
| ||||
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Barack Obama treats Larry Summers like a sexist infant, because, well, he sorta is.
Here are a couple of well-received (???) jokes from the President at yesterday's White House Correspondents' Dinner, referring to Summers' fun Harvard tenure and the nap-time that he's worked into his current job:
Monday, May 4, 2009
Season Finale: Ice To Know You
Need help finding a summer job?
Want to win a night's stay in the hottest room on campus?
And learn how to skate from Emily Hughes '11!
(Plus, we pay tribute to Derek in his last episode as anchor)
..All in the Season 3 finale of On Harvard
Time!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Episode 13: Lesser of Two Evils
Dean Smith: Evil or Stupid?
How cool is this new crop of prefrosh?
And what is the Faculty Club really like?
..All in this week's episode of On Harvard
Time!
Signs of the Apocalypse from Prefrosh Weekend
A sampling of actual quotes from actual prefrosh to actual OHT members:
[to anchor Derek Flanzraich] You did that Dean Fitzsimmons interview, right? My mom's obsessed with you! Do you mind if I tell her you said hello?
I love On Harvard Time! I check your site literally every day!
You guys have positively informed my decision to go to Harvard.
Everyone run for the hills.
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